Zai Jian 在見

It's about to begin. 

My floors are covered with everything I want to bring with me for the next year. This is by far the most comprehensive packing job I've ever done. 

I have a feeling I'm in for something big. 

TRUST will most likely be a common theme this year.

Am I ready? Nope. But if I did feel ready, I wouldn't really have to rely on Him I guess.

I'll miss my family, my friends...and Christmas, among other things. At least I'll have my Christmas music with me :)

If you would, talk to "dad" for me lots. I'll have to get used to thinking smart and being careful--on the streets, in emails, etc.

Here I go...talk to you soon.

Over the Hill or Back Down the Mountain?

Everyone says it happens at 40. You go over the hill.

I don't think it happens that way though. I think that you reach a pinnacle in your life--that summit where you stop and think and reflect--and then begin your descent, realizing that life isn't as it used to be, back down the way you came.

Back down the way you came...

A Divine design.

You don't disappear over the top and wait for others to follow, but instead are able to act as a trail marker to those continuing their ascent. You warn them of things to come, encourage them with your wisdom and lighten the mood and build their courage with stories of conquests and failed attempts. 

Today I passed my dad coming back down the mountain.

Since I was young I always strove to keep up with his speed and agility in all the active sports we did. He led the way on our hiking, mountain biking, and ski trails. He ran faster, swam faster, threw faster. We ran 4 miles together today. Intervals were on the agenda for the last half. I pulled ahead each time. 

I wasn't expecting that.

Life really is a vapor.

I have lived 21 years. I feel young, but when my knees cracked loudly today I realized I no longer have my 10 year-old, flexible, run-all-day body. As we gain years, we gain wisdom (at least usually). I wish I could get ahold of that wisdom sooner--enabling me to pair my energy with the discernment and knowledge that could help me to affect great change. 

Maybe it's possible. 

The Book says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom...that if we search for it as for hidden treasure, we will find it. Maybe if I search in the right places I can discover these nuggets of wisdom. Maybe all those people that are traveling back down the mountain are waiting and ready to help me find It and I haven't been asking enough questions or stopping to listen. 

I think I'm ready to search...

I had forgotten

I had forgotten that children know best how to live life. They may not always follow directions or act like you want them to, but their minds are pure and they are so very curious about...well...everything. With patience and a willingness to try and understand what they're trying to say or do, they can be such a blessing and make you laugh over and over again.

They don't keep track of time but they do keep track of how big their tadpoles are getting. They ask the darndest questions and invite me to see the world through little eyes once again. They run in fields at twilight jumping around trying to catch the little light-up bugs. They start leaf collections and are fascinated by magnolia flower buds (cause they're fuzzy). I found myself saying "come 'on, let's hurry" when really there was no need. They take their time putting their socks on, getting dressed, eating breakfast...they've got the right pace down. Maybe if we cut some of the unnecessary activities out of our life we could move at that pace too. Why hurry? Why rush? Why stress? It takes the joy out of life...

Wanting to know how everything started, I explained to one little boy I took care of about the beginning of the world and told how God breathed life into lumps of clay, creating the first man and woman. "Oh yeah, I think I remember that...it was Adam and Cindy, right?" Oh little man...I wanted to laugh out loud but didn't. When I explained one night that we could talk to God and He could talk back to us if we listened with our hearts, he told me when I tucked him in, "I heard God...He said, 'You are My child'." And that's just it. The simplicity of it all. He didn't doubt that God would speak to him, but was just willing to hear and so he did. I want to become like a little child, even as I leave childish ways behind me.